Cottonwood Heights City: Cottonwood Heights

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Confronting Domestic Violence

September 1, 2009, marked the completion of CHPD’s first year of service to the residents of Cottonwood Heights. Throughout this year, one alarming trend we have discovered is the number of domestic violence calls to which we respond. The National Institute of Justice states that domestic violence affects one in four women across the country CHPD made 103 arrests for domestic violence related crimes. We are well aware that this number doesn’t reflect the total problem because many victims suffer in silence. In an effort to combat this pandemic, CHPD has taken the time to train its officers and is now educating the residents about why victims stay, what the law says, and how to recognize and assist a neighbor in need. This article focuses on females, who comprise the largest segment of domestic violence sufferers; however, it’s important to note that men are victims also. They often suffer in silence from fear of ridicule and a concern that their abuse claims will not be believed.

The most frequent question asked following a domestic violence case is, “Why do victims stay?” The answer is multifaceted. The National Center for Victims of Crimes state that victims stay for a variety of reason. These reasons include: fear, love, threats of suicide, religious beliefs, faith the abuser will change, self-blame, limited housing or financial means, embarrassment, and shame or threats of harm to the victim and loved ones (Bancroft, Lundy, “Why Does He Do That?”, New England Journal of Medicine).

Following is an attempt to summarize the major reasons victims stay. All of the factors are not found in every situation, but any combination is usually enough to keep women with their abusive partners (Jane, Heather, “Why Women Stay”, Steps for Survivors).

Frequency and severity: The abuse may occur over a short period of time and the severity may vary. She then believes him when he says, “I’m sorry, it will never happey again. . . . “

Childhood experiences: She may have grown up in a home where some form of abuse occurred; and she, consciously or subconsciously, accepts it as normal. The more abuse she experienced as a child, the more likely she is to stay.

Belief that things will change: Some victims stay because they believe therapy will help their batterers stop. Some battered women are forced to stay because they can’t afford justice. Getting personal protection or a restraining order usually requires the financial burden of hiring an attorney.

Fear: An abused woman believes her partner to be omnipotent. She sees no real way to protect herself from him. Unfortunately, many of her fears are justifiable. If he is reported to the police, he will often take revenge upon her. She believes she has no power to change the situation. A common way to inflict fear is for the abuser to torture and murder pets, especially pets that are important to the victim.

Beliefs about domestic relationships: Many peoples’ beliefs fuel the flames of domestic violence. A belief in male dominance and superiority gives power to the man and a subservient position to the women. These beliefs also seem to demand that the woman maintain the façade of a good marriage. Often she stays for “the sake of the children.” She may believe that abuse is part of every marriage. Many women are raised to believe the overwhelming importance of a good relationships are her responsibility. In many cases the domination can also lead to sexual abuse, which further degrades her and weakens the capacity to resist.

Few individuals would become involved in a relationship that they knew would result in violence. However, the mistreatment has subtle origins; so what starts out looking like a loving bond may evolve into a battered relationship. Victims are not masochists, they do not enjoy being hurt or controlled. They are in a situation they did not foresee and they feel trapped, humiliated, and alone.

Instead of asking the question, “Why do victims stay?”, the more appropriate question is, “Why do abusers perpetrate?” While we are unable to answer that question, we can help victims become survivors. Utah state law provides a variety of remedies for peoplek looking to free themselves of their abusers.

In Utah, committing an act of domestic violence in front of children is a criminal offense, and child victims will be included as protected victims on a protective order. The aggressor will also be charged with child abuse.

In an effort to provide assistance and resources to victims, the Utah Legislature modified the statutes. Now when an officer responds to a call and has probable cause to believe a domestic violence crime has been committed, the officer must begin the criminal charging process against the abuser. There is little discretion in these matters. The police must arrest and take the abuser into custody if the officer believes that the abuser may continue to harm or inflict serious injury to the victim or if the suspect has violated a protective order (UCA 30-6-2).

Women are often criticized for remaining in abusive relationships; but, in reality, unless they have resources, their options are limited. CHPD has hired Ms. Jennifer Posteraro and an intern, who can provide emergency food, medical assistance, shelters, day care, and employment assistance. To overcome violence, the crime must first be reported and court action in the form of protective orders and criminal charges must be initiated. However, when the woman leaves, there is a greater potential for violence. Data from the YWCA’s Women in Jeopardy Program suggests that once a man has become violent, the chances of killing his partner increase 75% if she leaves him. Many abusers believe, “If I can’t have her, no one will.” This appears to have been the motivation for a recent homicide within our city.

Our advocates play an essential role in keeping victims safe; for instance, should a woman decide to leave, she will require a strategic plan and legal intervention to avert separation violence. Our advocates are trained in assisting survivors in these processes and are able to refer families to appropriate community agencies.

Ms. Posteraro will assist our citizens in filing an “Ex Parte Protective Order,” which may order an abuser out of the home and establish boundaries such as prohibitions on contacting the petitioner or other protected parties. It should be noted that this is only a temporary order until a hearing can be held to establish a permanent order. Violations of the protective order are treated seriously in Utah and require officers to make a custodial arrest. But it must not be assumed that this document is a magic cloak that will protect the petitioner from a determined abuser. Some victims are lured into a fals sense of security by protective orders with tragic results. In some cases, a protective order functions better to augment a situation where the woman leaves.

Domestic violence crosses all racial, religious and economic barriers. However, it is clear that the better educated a woman is, the less likely she is to stay. Education and support groups are strong keys to assisting these victims. Counseling is important in the process of developing self-confidence, a belief in their autonomy, and breaking the chain of dependence.

CHPD is dedicated to helping crime victims, particularly abused women. If you, or an acquaintance need help or advice, please contact Jennifer Posteraro at (801) 944-7100.